Monkey Head Butting!
m a davis/miko [email protected]
http://listen.to/bell/
Characters are copyright Takahashi Rumiko, no infringement intended. This is a fan work only, not for profit.
Monkey Head Butting
Part Two
Dinner passed quietly. Ranma's head pounded, as did Kasumi's. Afterwards, Kasumi and Ranma began gathering the dishes simultaneously.
"Don't worry about the dishes, you two," Nodoka said. "You two go lay down. I'll take care of them." She shot a glance at her husband, still patting his stomach. "Genma?"
"Hmmm?"
"You can help me by drying," she said. It wasn't a request.
Ranma headed up the stairs to her room. She slid the door aside, then paused.
If she was in Kasumi's body, then perhaps she was supposed to lied down in Kasumi's room? She frowned, wondering exactly how arrangements were supposed to work under the current circumstances.
She glanced down at herself, at the yellow blouse, the long brown skirt, and the white apron. Ranma sighed. Well, there was one thing she certainly wanted to do, and she couldn't do it here in the room she shared with her father. She began undoing the apron as she headed for Kasumi's room.
Ranma dug through Kasumi's closet, muttering to herself. "No. Nope. No way. No. No. No." Finally she sat down on Kasumi's bed, frustrated. "Doesn't she have anything besides dresses and skirts?"
"I'm afraid not," said a voice from the doorway.
"Nabiki?" Ranma said, looking up.
"Pants have never been my sister's style," the middle sister said. She looked Ranma over with a critical eye. "My, my, Ranma, that really is you, isn't it? You've never looked so... domestic."
"Nabiki, can I borrow some of your..."
"Not on your life, Ranma-baby. My clothes don't really fit my sister well, and besides, she would never be caught dead wearing them. You're supposed to be Kasumi, remember? You have to dress the way she'd dress. Something practical, and pretty, but not trendy or stylish."
"Maybe something of Akane's..."
"Ranma, if my clothes don't fit Kasumi, then obviously Akane's aren't going to fit. Right?"
"But how can I practice my kata in a full-length skirt?"
"Kasumi doesn't practice," Nabiki said. "That's her body, so you don't need to practice, either. It's not like you're going to get out of practice."
"Yes, but..."
"Oh for heaven's sake, Ranma, grow up! Girls wear dresses all the time."
"I'm not a girl!"
"Oh? I think you'll find that my sister doesn't change with the temperature of the water."
Ranma looked dejected and forlorn. Nabiki smiled to herself, then let out an audible sigh. "Look, Ranma, I'll do you a favor. Tomorrow I'll take you shopping, okay? You can buy something more to your liking. It still has to be something that Kasumi would wear, but it doesn't have to be a dress."
"Thanks, Nabiki, I..." Ranma paused, suddenly wondering why Nabiki was being nice. She sensed a trap, but couldn't quite figure out what it was. "I... I'd like that," she finished. What was the worst that could happen? Nabiki couldn't force her to buy anything she didn't want to buy, and after all, it had to be something Kasumi would wear. That ruled out a lot of the more embarassing options.
***
Kasumi followed Akane up the stairs and down the hall.
"Akane, would you mind if I borrowed one of your dresses? I know Ranma doesn't wear them, but I've never been that comfortable wearing pants, and my own clothes aren't going to fit Ranchan's body..."
"Uh, sure," Akane said. She lead the way into her room, and then came to a complete stop, staring at her bed.
"Oh, my!" Kasumi said, putting her hand to her mouth.
"Well," Akane said, clenching and unclenching her fists. "If I didn't believe you before, then I guess I'd have to believe you now. What an idiot! Doesn't he even know how to make up a bed correctly?"
Kasumi automatically stepped forward and pulled the covers on Akane's bed down. "Don't worry, Akane," she said. "You can't really blame him. He grew up wandering everywhere with his father; he's probably never slept in an actual bed in his life. You just find something in your closet that you don't mind letting me wear, and I'll have this fixed up in no time at all."
"Um... okay," Akane said. She watched the young, red-haired girl expertly fold, tuck, and turn down the sheets, just as she'd watched Kasumi do it so many times before. Seeing Ranma doing the same thing, moving the same way, with the same movements, exaclty as Kasumi did it, spooked her. It was confusing, and disturbing, in ways that she couldn't even name.
She turned to the closet and began looking through her clothes for something that would suit Kasumi. It wasn't really difficult. Before Ranma had shown up, Akane had spent a lot of her time trying to look and act as much like her older sister as possible, in the mistaken assumption that Dr. Tofu might eventually notice her. There were several outfits that she had just about never worn since then. She located one, pulled it out, and handed it to the patiently waiting pig-tailed girl.
"Oh, Akane, I'd almost forgotten you had this dress!" Kasumi said, taking it in her hands. "It's so lovely! Why haven't you worn it lately?"
"It's hard to say," Akane said, laughing nervously. "I... I guess I just got tired of it!"
"Thank you so much!" Kasumi held the dress up against her body -- against Ranchan's body -- and sighed contentedly. Akane grimaced. If her sister and her gender-swapping, rude, so-called fiance didn't switch back soon, she didn't know how she was going to keep her sanity.
Kasumi looked up. "I guess I'll need underwear too," she said, "and socks, and shoes... a whole outfit."
"Ah... sure, sis, no problem," Akane said. She gathered the rest of the items together and handed them over. Kasumi started towards the door, then stopped. "Would you mind if I changed here, Akane?"
A large sweatdrop appeared on Akane's head. "Uh... actually..."
"It's just that, I think Ranma's in my room at the moment, and I'm not sure I should change in Ranma's room. What if Mr. Saotome walked in while I was changing?"
Akane sighed. "Okay sis, no problem. I'll just step outside..."
"You don't have to do that!"
"Actually, sis, I do. You see, whether you're my sister or not, that's Ranma's body that you've got. I just wouldn't feel comfortable."
Kasumi nodded, then sighed. "Okay, Akane. I guess I understand. I just hope father can think of a way to get me and Ranma back in our own bodies soon!"
***
Ranma set the basket down in the grass and began pulling wet clothing from it. She hummed to herself, not because she felt like doing it, but because Soun had stressed the need to do everything as Kasumi would do it, and she was well aware how often Kasumi sang or hummed to herself while doing domestic chores. She didn't really know any of the actual songs that Kasumi normally sang, so she just picked a song at random from those her father had taught her in her youth. It was true that most of them involved battles, and honour, and people dying, but so long as he didn't sing the words she assumed she'd be okay.
*Imagine,* she thought. *Here I am, Ranma Saotome, martial artist and all-around handsome guy, hanging laundry.* It was all here: shirts, dresses, pants, skirts, underwear. Especially underwear. She held up a bra, a sudden doubt forming in her mind. *Who's is this? Akane's? Nabiki's? Nabiki's bras would be more sexy, wouldn't they? Is it... mine... then? That is, one that Kasumi normally wears?*
*Where's the freak when you really need him?* Ranma thought to herself. He would know. *Not that I want him around... but it's going to be pretty embarassing if I have to ask who's underwear is who's. Akane would punch me. Nabiki would charge me some sort of stupid fee...*
As for Kasumi... well, Ranma was already pretty embarassed about the position she'd placed Kasumi in. No need to become more embarassed, she thought, clipping the bra to the line.
And this would be my dad's underwear, she thought, hanging another item. Lovely. No problem identifying that. Jeez, how many holes did there have to be before the old man finally bought something new?
*I can't believe I'm actually doing this,* she thought. I hope no one sees me. Oh man, what if Ryoga or Ukyou or one of the guys from school were to show up now? What if they find out?*
Sweatdrops appeared on her head as she considered the possibilities, and she had to school her mind. *There's nothing strange about Kasumi hanging underwear out to dry. It's something she does every day. I look just like Kasumi, don't I? I'm dressed like her, I have her hair, her face, her whole body, how can I not look like Kasumi? There's no way that anyone could know that it's really me, Ranma Saotome, who is, at this moment, standing in the yard, holding up a pair of Akane's panties...*
"Hey Kasumi! How's it going?"
"Hi Kasumi! Is Ranma around?"
Ranma froze. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Hiroshi and Daisuke, two friends from school. Instinctively her hands snapped down to her side, hiding the panties from their view.
Trying to emty her head of thought, she gave a big smile. "Oh, hello! You're Ranma's friends, right?"
"Yes, ma'am. Is he in?"
"I..." she paused, considering the dangers if these two were around her or Kasumi for any length of time. "Oh, he's not available right now, sorry. I'll tell him you were here, though."
"Sis, what ever are you talking about?" Nabiki stepped out from the shadows. "Boys, Ranma's out by the koi pond. He's just doing some yard work; I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."
"Thanks, Nabiki," the two said, as they headed around the side of the house. Ranma took two steps after them, intending to head them off somehow, but Nabiki stepped in front of her.
"Sister dear," Nabiki said with emphasis, "remember to please to hang my white blouse as soon as possible. I don't want it to become too wrinkled; it's so much harder to iron out then."
"Just a moment," Ranma said, trying to sidestep her. Again Nabiki blocked her path.
"Right now, sis. I insist."
Ranma growled. "What are you up to, Nabiki?"
"Why nothing, Kasumi dear. By the way, isn't it time for your bath? Remember, sister dear, you always take yours early, so that the bath will be free when all the martial artists are done sparring."
Ranma growled again, and turned back to the clothesline. This had already become one of the worst days of her life, and if Nabiki got involved then it would invariably grow worse. She had to find a way to get back into her own body quick!
***
Hitoshi and Daisuke found Ranma raking the leaves from the yard which bordered the pond. They were surprised to find that, not only was she still a girl, as she'd been for the entire day at school, but she was now wearing a pretty yellow dress with a white blouse and apron. What's more, her hair, always done up in a pig-tail, was now brushed out and pulled back in a simple pony-tail.
The two exchanged glances. Was Ranma feeling okay?
"Oh, hello!" Ranma said, looking up. She greeted them with a dazzling, beautiful smile. "How are you two doing this evening?"
"Uh... fine," Hitoshi said.
"We were going to see a movie," Daisuke added, "and we were wondering if you or Akane wanted to come with us."
The red-haired girl smiled sweetly. "Oh, how nice of you! Akane's not here right now, and as for me... why ask me? Don't you think that Ranma..."
"Don't they think," Nabiki interrupted quicky, stepping into view, "that you, Ranma have too much to do? Everyone knows how much work you put into your kata, Ranma. Luckily for your friends here, you've already finished your workouts, haven't you Ranma?"
Hiroshi and Daisuke exchanged glances again.
Kasumi's eyes widened. "Oh my! That's right!" She put a hand to her mouth then looked back at the two boys and smiled again. "Well, I don't know. It sounds like fun, but there's so much work I need to do..."
"Don't be stupid, Ranma," Nabiki said. "You go along with your friends and have a good time. I'm sure that Kasumi can handle the household chores without you."
"Of... of course," Kasumi said doubtfully. She undid her apron and glanced down at the dress she was wearing. "Do you think that what I'm wearing is...?"
"It's just fine, Ranma. She looks nice, doesn't she, boys?"
"Oh, yes," Hiroshi said.
"Most definately," Daisuke added. "You look really nice, Ranma. You should dress that way more often."
"I don't think..." Kasumi said, but suddenly Nabiki was pushing her towards the front gate.
"It's okay, Ranma," she said. She produced an object from nowhere and shoved it into Kasumi's hands. "Here, you wouldn't want to forget your purse, would you? Now run along with your friends and have fun, okay? And don't stay up too late!"
Moments later Kasumi stood ouside the gates with Ranma's two schoolmates. "My," she said. "Well." She slipped her purse over her shoulder. "A movie, you said? What sort of movie is it?"
"Martial arts, of course," Hiroshi said. "Jet Li's latest. We wouldn't think of inviting you otherwise."
"We hear it's really violent," Daisuke added. "It should be a blast!"
"Oh," Kasumi said. "Well, then... that's... okay... I guess..."
***
Akane slid the door aside and stepped in, a white towel held against her naked body. Steam filled the room, and with the lights turned off, there was only the hazy moonlight from the window to see by. She heard water sloshing about in the tub, and she froze, peering at the shadowy form in the mist, just a few feet away.
"Akane! I'm sorry, I forgot the sign! Don't come in!"
The voice was that of her sister, Kasumi, but of course she knew that it was really Ranma. Her face flushed with embarassment and anger, and she stepped back out and shut the door quickly.
"I'm sorry, Akane!" Ranma called out. "I'll let you know when I'm done, okay?"
Akane stared at the door, her mind in a swirl. This was so very like the first time she'd met Ranma, the first time she'd encountered him when he was a man. She'd walked in on him, and they'd both seen each other, naked. She'd been furious. But over time she'd come to see it differently. She loved Ranma, and she strongly suspected that he loved her, although neither was willing to come out and say it. Yet now it seemed to her somehow appropriate that they'd first met like that, that the boy she would apparently marry -- if their parents had anything to say about it, at least -- was also the only one who'd ever seen her so.
Ranma had been a girl so often, he invariably treated girls differently. Despite his machismo, his rude behavior, and his feigned ignorance, Ranma was one of the few boys her age she'd ever met who looked into her eyes when he talked to her, rather than down at her breasts. She'd thought about that, too, and it had not bothered her so much that Ranma had been the one. Not that she was ready to strip in front of him just yet, but she knew that if and when they were married, it would be different, and she was almost comfortable with that thought.
Memories came swirling up from her past, of when she was younger and had routinely taken her baths with her older sister. They were warm and relaxing memories, comforting memories. And, just as she was uncomfortable with Kasumi undressing in front of her earlier, because she looked like Ranma, Akane now realized that she wasn't really embarassed to appear naked in front of Ranma, as long as he looked like her sister Kasumi.
Was she that bold?
"Hmmm..." Akane looked again at the door, momentarily indecisive, and then shrugged her shoulders. After all, the room was so full of steam, it wasn't like you could see very much. Sliding the door open again, she stepped inside. She could feel her heart beating against her chest.
"Akane?" Ranma called out. It sounded so much like her sister...
"Do you mind, Ranma?" Akane asked. "I don't want to wait, and I've bathed with my sister hundreds of times, and really, you're her, at least, physically... so if you don't mind..."
"Um... no, I guess not..." Ranma replied. staring at the wall. Akane smiled to herself. Ranma, chivalrous? Imagine!
"Besides," she said, quickly soaping up her body, "this way, I can assure father that you're not playing around in here with his precious daughter's body."
"Akane!" Ranma exclaimed.
"I'm joking, I'm joking!" She said. She washed off, her hands shaking just a little. She was excited, and scared, and forced herself to breathe slowly and calm down. After all, this was her sister, right? Essentially, anyway. It wasn't like anything could really happen between them... but knowing that it was also Ranma sent a little thrill through her.
She slipped into the far side of the bath and slid down until the water reached her chin. "Sort of, anyway. This whole thing has really got dad on edge."
"Well, it's no picnic for me either," Ranma groused.
"Oh, please!" Akane splashed water Ranma's way. "It's not like you've never been female before! And I think you passed that economics test with flying colors!"
Ranma's face twisted up. It sent a shiver down Akane's spine, seeing such odd expressions on her sister's face. "This is different," Ranma said. "it's demeaning. People treat me like the house maid, and I don't even get any of the respect that Kasumi gets for doing the same things..."
"She's just a little better than you, you know," Akane said, remembering her bed.
"Well of course. But that's not it... it's just... everything's so different. I'm not strong anymore. I can hardly perform half the kata I normally do every morning. And look at you, sitting here with me... you'd never do at any other time."
Akane was begining to wonder if this had been such a good idea. "Well," she said, "if we were to get... you know..."
"I know, I know," Ranma said. "But we've never done this before, and we wouldn't be doing it now, except... except... I'm not just in my girl form anymore. I'm Kasumi. I mean, what am I going to do if I... if we never find out how to..." tears were streaming down her face.
"Don't worry, Ranma," Akane said with a confidence she didn't really feel. "I'm sure they'll figure it out. Tofu-Sensei's doing some research. In any case, you know Daddy won't give up until he solves this, if only for Kasumi's sake."
"This is worse..." Ranma said, "than anything else that's happened to me."
"Don't talk like that, Ranma," Akane said, growing a little angry. "It's not like being my sister is the end of the world. I mean, she's managed just find up 'til now. Besides, you're not the sort of person who ever gives up hope. Things will work out, and even if they don't... well, they just will, that's all.
"Anyway, before you drown in your own self-pity, think of what Kasumi must be going through."
"It's just about all I can think about," Ranma replied. "I mean, when it comes down to it, my being Kasumi mostly means I'm stuck as a girl and I have to deal with the endless drudgery of housework, but if I were a girl, and I didn't mind housework, it wouldn't be so bad at all. Kasumi, on the other hand, has to deal with my mess of a life. She's neither male nor female, she has a pathetic exscuse for a father, she has more enemies and more... um, 'relationship problems'... than any one person could possibly deserve, especially her. And she doesn't even have all of my martial arts training to protect herself with."
Akane thought back to the scene before the school that morning with Kuno. "I'm not too sure about that," she said. "Kasumi's had martial arts training. So has Nabiki. I'm just the only one that continued on with it. But her training, combined with your own body's reflexes, might be enough... as long as she doesn't actually get into a fight with Ryoga, or Mousse, or Kodachi..."
"I really don't see how she could avoid it," Ranma said morosely.
Akane said nothing. She sat, watching the steam rise, letting the heat soak into her body. *Ranma's right,* she realized. *The longer this goes on, the more certain it is that Kasumi's going to wind up in a fight where she's way outclassed.*
"I'll have to watch over her," Akane said. "Until this is over, I'll have to protect her."
"Akane, if it's Ryoga or Mouse that she faces..."
"I know, I know, I'm not as good as them. But since you've been training me, I've gotten a lot better. I'll just have to do my best, that's all, and avoid any serious confrontations if we can possibly manage it."
"If only you could master the Chestnut Fist..." Ranma said.
"I know," Akane said, frowning. She'd been practicing that one for months, but it was just out of her reach. She was strong... really strong, when she focused all of her energy... but she simply didn't have the kind of speed Ranma had. The Chestnut Fist might be something she'd never be able to master.
"Well," Ranma said, "anyway, I guess this means that we're no longer engaged... for the moment, at least..."
Akane stared through the steam at her sister's face... at Ranma. Did she look sad, or just relieved? It was impossible to tell.
***
"Well, that movie was... interesting..." Kasumi managed to say.
The two boys seated across from her in the booth exchanged glances. They'd been doing that all evening, and she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Did they normally act that way? Kasumi didn't know. She didn't see these two particular boys around the dojo as often as Ranma's other friends, but they seemed nice enough. She'd been with them all evening, and they hadn't shown the slightest inclination to rip up any telephone poles or smash any walls, which was refreshing. *I never knew Ranma had such friends.*
They were seated in a local ice cream parlor. The two had insisted on treating her, despite her protests. Kasumi knew how much Ranma liked ice cream, so she guessed this was something that he normally did, although it did seem a little odd, her eating while they watched.
"You really ought to consider it," Hitoshi was saying. "I mean, unless wearing a dress makes you uncomfortable..."
"What?" Kasumi said. "Of course it doesn't, don't be silly! Why would it... I mean..."
"Then," Daisuke said, "there's nothing to prevent you from wearing them more often, is there?"
"You could wear a girl's dress uniform at school," Hitoshi said. "That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"
"I'm not sure that would be a good idea..." Kasumi said.
"Don't worry!" Hitoshi said. "We wouldn't mind, Ranma. Really."
"Not at all," Daisuke chimed in. "We're right behind you, Ranma!"
"That's right," Hitoshi said. "We support you in this decision all the way. What are friends for?"
Kasumi felt the conversation spinning out of her control, and decided to retreat and regroup. "I... um... I have to use the restroom," Kasumi said. "If you'll excuse me..."
"Go right ahead," Daisuke replied. "We're not going anywhere."
The two friends watched as their schoolmate crossed the floor. They both nodded as the door closed behind her.
"Straight into the women's restroom," Daisuke said.
"No hesitation," Hitoshi agreed. "She didn't bat an eye."
"I'm telling you, Ranma's never acted more feminine in his life."
"Tonight's a speical night, Daisuke. Very special."
"Definately. It's almost like being on a date, only..."
"Only, really we're just hanging out with the guys," Hitoshi said.
"Exactly. Noriko has nothing to get jealous about."
"Shigeko can't complain either. It's only Ranma, after all."
"It's not like you're cheating on her or anything."
"Not at all."
"It's the best of both worlds, isn't it?"
"Definately. You don't even have to worry about jealous boyfriends. Ranma doesn't have any."
"Unless you count Kuno."
Hitoshi's face fell. "That's right. I forgot about Kuno."
"Well, what he doesn't know..." Daisuke suggested.
Hitoshi nodded his head vigorously. "Exactly! What he doesn't know..."
A shadow fell across the table. The two looked up into the intense eyes of a man who was just this side of not quite sane. He wore a samurai's outfit, blue with black, and casually balanced a bokken over his shoulder.
"Pray thee, did I perchance to hear my name on your lips?" Kuno asked suspiciously, staring at the two.
"What?" Hitoshi said. "No, not at all!"
"Definately not," Daisuke chimed in.
"Foolish knaves!" Kuno's bokken swung around to point directly at them. "Tell me why you have chosen to slander the good name of Tatewate Kuno!"
Kasumi straightened her dress and checked herself in the mirror.
She'd have to go out there and straighten things out with those two boys somehow. Really, if it came to it, Kasumi would just as soon attend school in her old dress uniform... she still had the one from three years ago, and was pretty sure it would fit Ranmachan's body... but what would that do to poor Ranma? Here she was, spending the evening with two of his best friends, and she was wearing a dress. Poor Ranma! She was going to cause him all sorts of problems if she didn't get ahold of herself.
She smiled at the reflection in the mirror, liking what she saw. *Well,* she thought, *it's not as if Ranma hasn't worn a dress before. She looks so lovely in one... when it comes right down to it, if he's going to be a girl part of the time, then why shouldn't he dress like a girl? It stands to reason. She's really so very pretty...*
Kasumi smiled at her reflection and walked out of the restroom.
"Pig-tailed girl!" A voice cried out. Kasumi looked up to see someone dressed in a samurai outfit running at her from across the parlor. He fell to one knee at her feet and grasped her hand. From seemingly nowhere he produced a boquet of deep red roses and offered them to her. "Lo, how your hair, unfettered at last, outshines the noonday sun! How fortuitous that we should meet thus! But then, "Journeys end in loved ones meeting." So it shall be! You must date with me! Say yes! I will not accept no as an answer!"
"Oh!" Kasumi said, looking down at the tall and rather handsome young boy kneeling before her. "Oh, my! Aren't you the boy I hit..." she paused, her hand to her mouth, looking guilty.
Across the parlor, Daisuke and Hitoshi looked on.
"Thank the gods," Hitoshi said. "One moment more and we would have been pounded into the ground."
"Perfect timing on Ranma's part, as ususal," Daisuke agreed.
"Look at that! A boquet of roses! I'll never understand how he does that!"
"Gotta be some special martial arts trick," Daisuke said.
Hitoshi nodded. "Martial arts are a wondrous thing, my friend."
***
Nabiki Tendo played with the telephoto lens, then snapped several pictures.
"Oh my," she said. "This is too rich! What is she going to do?"
Her eyes tracked a couple as they stepped out of an ice cream parlor and made their way down the sidewalk. Dropping her camera and pulling the wide brim of her hat lower, she shadowed them down the opposite side of the street. They were holding hands! She paused to take several more pictures, then watched as they disappeared into a restaurant.
"Can it be?" she asked. "An actual date? Oh, my poor sister! She probably couldn't find a way out of it. That's what you get for being nice. But this is better than anything I could ever arrange on my own! How much will Ranma pay to keep these photos under wraps? Everything! No, he doesn't have enough money to keep them hidden!"
She balanced the camera on the back of a postbox. "Okay, Kuno baby," she said, "now don't disappoint me. It's your first big date with the love of your life, and you're as vain as a Hollywood starlet. Tell me you want a window seat. Tell me you want everyone who walks by to see you with your dream date."
For several moments she scanned the large glass windows, then she froze. Quickly she took aim with the camera and adjusted the scope.
"YES! YES! Oh, Kuno baby, you are sooooo predictable! Oh, my, yes! Commemorative photos of your first date with the pig-tailed goddess! What will you pay? What WILL you pay? I'm afraid to even contemplate it. Ten times the usual? Twenty? More?"
Nabiki reeled off an entire roll of film, then paused to rewind and put in a new roll. "I almost feel guilty," she said to herself. "I mean, my poor sister... and poor Ranma! It's almost going too far. I should probably cut them in for a share. Maybe... one percent each? No. One percent, split between the two. Yeah, I can probably afford that much."
Nabiki levelled the camera and began clicking away.
***
Kasumi wasn't at all sure how she had gone from an evening spent with two of Ranma's friends to a date with another of them, but here she was, in a fine French restaurant, with the strange boy who always dressed like a samurai. She was vaguely aware that Ranma himself would probably have never allowed this to happen, but Kuno had trapped her so cleverly with his words and actions that she didn't quite know how to escape, short of punching him again, which she was definately not going to do. She was also aware that what she was doing might have some rammifications down the road for Ranma -- she could be getting him into yet more trouble, but she saw no way to avoid it.
*In any case,* she thought to herself after some reflection, *Ranma can certainly handle himself, so I suppose I can't do too much damage. And really, it is kind of fun, being on a date! I've never actually done this before. I was too young before mother died, and since then my opportunities for any romance have been slim. And he is kind of handsome, in an egotistical way, and he is rather charming, and chivalrous, if a little odd...*
Kasumi allowed herself to relax, and have a good time. The meal was delicious, and the company... well, Kuno spoke at great length about his own exploits, and especially about his great (and victorious) battles with "that evil sorceror Ranma Saotome", whatever that meant... but Kasumi was used to boastful stories, and was a good listener. The evening was surprisingly pleasant, certainly moreso than the movie had been, and Kuno seemed to be having such a nice time...
As they stepped out of the restarant, Kuno's face took on a more serious frown. "Now then, my beautiful pig-tailed goddess," he said, "where do you suppose the night shall lead us to next?"
Enough was enough, Kasumi realized. She'd had some fun, probably at Ranma's expense, she thought guiltily. Best if it went no farther than that. "Thank you so much for the dinner, Kuno, I enjoyed myself, but I really think I should be heading home."
"Of course," Kuno said after a moment's reflection. "For 'The day is done, and the darkness Falls from the wings of Night, As a feather is wafted downward From an Eagle in flight.' But I insist that I be allowed to escort you to the door of your domicile!"
Kasumi giggled. What an odd way of speaking this boy had! "Thank you very much, Kuno," she said. "I think I'd like that."
They walked through the streets as the daylight faded away and was replaiced by the moonlight. Kuno seemed peaceful and reflective. Kasumi could not remember ever having seen the boy act this way before... always in the past, he was loud, and boastful, and ready to fight his friends at a moment's notice. Now he seemed calm, almost serene.
He placed his arm around her. Again, she thought that probably Ranma would not have allowed it, but she didn't want to start a confrontation with this boy. Besides, it really felt good.
At the gate of the dojo he took Kasumi in his arms and looked deeply into her eyes. She knew what he wanted, and she found that she wanted it as well. It had been such a pleasant evening, her first real date ever, and dates always ended with a kiss, wasn't that so?
*What can it hurt?* She thought. And then, *Oh, but he will tell others! Ranma might never live it down!* And then, *but if no one sees us, it will be Ranma's word against Kuno's...* And then, *It would be so nice, a perfect ending to such an enjoyable evening.* And then, *Do you suppose Ranma has ever been in this position? What did she do?* And then, *Oh, I can't do this to poor Ranma!* And then...
And then Kuno kissed her. Her eyes went wide with shock, but it wasn't unpleasant at all, and for just a moment she allowed herself to kiss him back. Just a moment, just... and then she pulled away, reluctantly.
She frowned. Kuno had such a goofy look on his face, and he was staring up at the sky, ignoring her completely. Was he all right? And there had been the distinct sounds of clicking and whirring coming from the alley across the way. They were soft, faint sounds, but it was night and the streets were quiet. Kasumi had heard them clearly, and she knew what those sounds were.
With another glance at Kuno, who was lost in a world of his own, she opened the gate and slipped inside. She stepped to the side of the gate and waited.
Several minutes later the gate slid open again. Nabiki slipped silently into the compound. She was dressed all in dark clothing, with a wide-brimmed hat that was pulled down low. In her hand she carried a camera, carefully, as if it were a priceless relic from the Han Dynasty.
Kasumi cleared her throat. Nabiki nearly jumped back over the wall.
"Sister," Kasumi said, "what are you doing with that camera?"
***
The rising young star of the kendo club, he whom they called 'the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High', Tatewate Kunou, walked home.
His mind was in a pleasant fog. What a marvelous night it had been! His first date with the pig-tailed girl! His first kiss! This day, he reasoned, ranked as high on his list of momentous days as his other greatest days... his chance first meetings with Akane and with the pig-tailed girl. No, this ranked higher! Higher than any other day! This was the most consequential moment of his young life! This day signalled a turning point in his relationship with the pig-tailed goddess! No more would that dark sorcerer Saotome hold sway over her innocent heart, clouding her mind to the truth. Now, now, his path to her heart was clear and unobstructed. Now, finally, could Tatewate Kuno see where his path would lead him!
He stopped in the middle of the street, suddenly in anguish.
What of Akane? How could he break the news to her? How could he leave her, broken and devestated by her loss?
No! It could not be! Never could he raise one above the other, or abandon one in favor of the other! He would choose the most difficult path, but the most honorable one! The path of a true samurai! He would court them both, and win both their hearts at last!
Kuno paused, again, brought up short by the thought. If he were to treat them equally... if he were to avoid favoring one, and thus shattering the heart of the other... then surely he must arrange a date with Akane Tendo forthwith! How it would crush her to know of this evening he had spent in the pig-tailed girl's company, if he did not immediately arrange a similar evening with her! And truly, it was not only the honorable thing to do, but very much a thing that he felt a yearning for within his own breast!
"Oh!" Kuno said aloud, "that ever a man trod a path so precarious and fraught with danger, and all for the sake of love! But as it is said, 'For ever it was, and ever it shall befall, That Love is he that all things may bind.' Yes! My next step is as clear as the morning sun! Tomorrow evening shall Akane Tendo dine together with me, and I shall escort her home just as I have tonight with the pig-tailed girl. And then..!"
Maniacle laughter rang out in the night.
***
Father was waiting for both of them when Kasumi and Nabiki slipped into the house. They greeted him, then Nabiki yawned and headed up to her room. Kasumi stayed behind.
"Father? Can I get you some tea, or something to eat?"
Soun shook his head. "No, thank you, Kasumi. I was just going to bed."
"Let me rub your shoulders then," she said, settling behind him. Soun relaxed and let his daughter work out the kinks in his back, and for a moment it seemed as if it had all been a dream. He could imagine that he was his precious Kasumi's own hands on his shoulders, and not Ranmachan's.
"I... I'm afraid I may have caused Ranma some trouble tonight," Kasumi said, shattering his reverie. "I hope it's not too bad."
"Don't worry," Soun said softly. "There's very little that Ranma can't handle. We'll speak to Tofu-Sensei in the morning, and with any luch we'll find a solution for this mess."
"I hope so, father, I really do," Kasumi said.
After her father had disappeared into his room, Kasumi headed for the bath. It was late, but she wanted to be clean and she needed some time to relax and think things over.
She closed the door behind her. After a minute there was the sound of running water. A few minutes of relative quiet passed, and then the the sounds of more water running, and of water splashing. Then came the sound of feet padding on a hard tile floor, and the deeper splosh of someone settling into the tub, and of the water sloshing about and splashing onto the floor.
A girl's voice cried out suddenly. "Oh! Oh, my!" The voice quickly dropped to a lower register. "Oh my, oh my, oh my!"
It was a short bath. Kasumi emerged again a few minutes later, clean, but hardly relaxed. She was female again, and her face was very, very red.
***
Monkey Head Butting Part Three
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