This weekend (July 2-5) I'll be at Anime Expo 1998 (my first time ever!) and won't be able to post part 5 for a week at the very least. I don't have a laptop so I'm unlikely to get much writing done over this weekend. I'll be with my three anime co-conspirators, Sky Rigdon, Jeff Cornish, and Tom Hayes, so if you see us, we're the out-of-shape otaku with tee-shirts of anime characters. Should be easy to spot in the crowd. ^_^
This means that I must go to bed early tomorrow night, for I get up at 4 am to make my flight. So I'm posting part 4 tonight if it kills me!
Because of that, this could probably use another read-through or two, but I don't have the time. Let me know what foolish mistakes I failed to notice as a result of this rash decision. ^_^
Monkey Head Butting!
m a davis/miko [email protected]
http://listen.to/bell/
This story will be at least 6 parts total, probably more. I have everything plotted and the first 4 parts written, plus large sections of the rest of the story. This will be a rather traditional story, not dark or serious or waffy or lemon or revisionist or alternate universe or anything. It's set near the end of the series, because Mrs. Saotome knows about Ranma and Genma... Mrs. Tendo, on the other hand, is likely to remain dead through the course of the story... other than that, I haven't thought about continuity too much.
Sorry for the goofy title.
Characters are copyright Takahashi Rumiko, no infringement intended. This is a fan work only, not for profit.
Monkey Head Butting
Part Four
In the afternoon Nabiki stood with her friends and co-conspirators in the shadow of the school gates. Students were filing out the front doors, chatting and saying good-bye to each other for another day. She overheard snatches of conversation about the Mousse-Ranma fight planned for Saturday, and she didn't fail to notice that everyone expected another Ranma victory.
Nabiki smiled.
"So," she said, "will you two be there this evening?"
The two -- Midori and Kyoko -- nodded. "What's up?" Midori asked.
"Knowing you, this is more than a simple shopping trip," Kyoko added.
"Quite," Nabiki responded, "but first, we have business to discuss."
The other two nodded. "The fight."
"Yes, the fight."
"We've got two days to get all the betting lined up," Midori said.
"Thanks to the intervention of your sister Akane," Kyoko added. "Did you pay her to do that?"
"Didn't have to," Nabiki replied. "There was no time. We were just lucky."
Kyoko nodded. "Well? How high does the handicap have to be this time to draw any bets on Mousse?"
Nabiki smiled slowly.
"I really don't care, Kyoko. Why not use the same handicap as last time?"
"What? If you do that, Nabiki, then all of the betting will be on Ranma."
"Exactly. Take every bet you can get on him."
The girl's eyes narrowed. "How are we going to cover all of those bets? I know you made a killing with Kuno today..."
"Thanks to the miracle of duplicate photos," Nabiki said.
"...but really, Nabiki, do you want to throw it all out the window so quickly? Or do you really think duck-boy has a chance?"
"He's got more than a chance," Nabiki said. "He's a lock to win. This time, Ranma's going down."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Nabiki," Midori said, "I thought you learned a long time ago not to go against Ranma in a fight. He never loses. Or do you have a plan?"
"Trust me on this one, girls. This time is going to be different."
"She's got a plan, all right."
"I should have known. What is it?"
"Wait! Something's wrong with Ranma, isn't it?"
Nabiki just smiled.
"I knew it! He's stuck as a girl again isn't he? That's why he's been attending school as a girl!"
"Stuck as a girl?" Midori said. "Hmmm, interesting, but as I recall, he still beat Mousse the first time as a girl..."
"Just barely, and only because Tofu-Sensei intervened and turned him back to a man."
"You're right, I remember now. We'll have to keep the good Sensei busy this time around."
"I'm way ahead of you," Nabiki said. "It is important to keep Tofu-Sensei out of this -- but not for the reasons you think."
"Something else then?" Kyoko said. "Well, it doesn't matter, Nabiki, we trust your judgment by now. If you say Ranma's going to lose, then we believe you."
"Okay," Midori said, "there's a rumor that Mousse has been training, so we play that up. We lower the odds because of it, which just gets more people to bet on Ranma -- as if anyone's going to bet against him after all this time. When he loses, we make a killing!"
"I just don't know," Kyoko said. It sounds good, but what if Ranma gets better somehow? He always seems to do that at the last possible moment."
"You leave that part to me," Nabiki said. "I'll guarantee that Ranma won't be cured before Saturday evening. Now, about tonight -- and this relates directly to the fight -- I have to warn you..."
***
"I'm so sorry Kasumi. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Akane, you've said that about twenty times now. Of course I forgive you."
Classes were over, and most of the students had left. Desks were being shoved aside with loud scrapes and clinks, and brooms kicked up dust motes which danced in the slanting sunlight streaming through the windows. Akane and Kasumi gathered their books and headed out into the hallway.
"But the fight!" Akane said. "I set you up for a match with Mousse! I don't know what I was thinking!"
"He was going to fight me anyway, Akane," Kasumi replied. "I'm sure you were just trying to avoid an immediate confrontation. But this was bound to happen eventually; I can't pretend to be Ranma forever without getting into a fight."
"But Kasumi! You can't fight Mousse!"
"I know," Kasumi said. "At least it's not for two days. This way, there's time for Ranma-kun and I to switch back. Once that's done, I'm sure Ranma-kun can handle Mousse no matter how much special training he's done."
"If we find a cure, Kasumi, if. What if we don't?"
Kasumi smiled. "Oh, Akane, don't worry so much! Ranma always finds a solution! Why don't we stop by Dr. Tofu's on the way home?"
Akane nodded. "I'm sure he's found something by now."
They met their sister at the gate. For once, Nabiki was smiling -- which in Akane's book was never a good thing.
"Akane, thanks for your help today!" Nabiki said. "You were a godsend!"
"Well," Akane replied, "I was just trying to keep Mousse from attacking Kasumi..."
"Don't I know it. If he had attacked right there and then, I wouldn't have been able to arrange a single bet. Now, with two days to work with..."
"NABIKI!" Akane yelled, "Kasumi could get hurt! Is making money all you can think about?"
"Kasumi, get hurt?" Nabiki said skeptically. "I think not. Look, all Kasumi has to do is show up for the fight and then forfeit. I'll make my money, Kasumi won't get hurt, and we'll all be happy. I'll be sure to put in a forfeit non-refund clause in my contracts..."
"Oh, Nabiki," Kasumi said, "must you always be so mercenary?"
Nabiki frowned. "Sis, it's not like the dojo makes a great deal of money, you know. Father's few students and Mr. Saotome's excuse for a day job barely pay for meals, let alone repairs. If Ranma and Mr. Saotome are going to keep freeloading and causing damage to the dojo, then I'm going to keep making as much money as I can off of Ranma's fights and off of Kuno-baby's addictions. Anyway, I'm having a lot of fun doing it."
"Oh, and if some of that money goes to new clothes and things for yourself, that's okay too?" Akane said.
Nabiki shrugged. "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."
"Sorry to disappoint you," Akane said, "but don't expect Kasumi to be the one in Ranma's body come Saturday. We're going to check in with Tofu-Sensei right now. I'm sure he'll find a way to fix this mess -- if he hasn't already."
"Really?" Nabiki said. "Well, you two run along then, and I'll catch up to you at the Clinic. I have a phone call to make first."
***
As Nabiki approached Doctor Tofu's Clinic, she could see Kasumi -- make that Ranma, in Kasumi's body -- coming towards her from the opposite direction. She winced. Ranma was running, something that Kasumi never, never did. Someone really needed to talk to that boy... girl... whatever.
Reaching her, Ranma said, "Nabiki! I got here as soon as I could!" She was breathing heavily from the run.
"Good," Nabiki said. "If Tofu-Sensei's come up with anything, I'm sure you don't want to miss it."
Inside the clinic, Mr. Panda was sweeping the floor. In the next room, they could hear Doctor Tofu talking with Akane and Ranma-chan -- make that Kasumi in Ranma-chan's body.
"A book?" Doctor Tofu was saying. "Really? No offense, Ranma, I'm happy to lend you anything, but are you actually going to read it?"
The door to the next room was closed. As Ranma reached to open it, Nabiki placed a hand on her shoulder. "Wait a moment," she said. "You don't want to just barge in, it wouldn't be polite. Let's stay out here and listen first."
"Don't be silly, Tofu-Sensei!" It was Kasumi speaking. "Of course I'm going to read it! Why would I ask to borrow it otherwise?"
"Well, okay, then, Ranma, go ahead and borrow it. Oh, I almost forgot! Take this book here as well. Ka-Ka-Kasumi called today and wanted to borrow it. Could you give it to her?"
"Culinary Secrets Of Ancient China?" Kasumi replied. "Oh, didn't I... that is, didn't Kasumi borrow this just a month ago?"
"Yes, she did," Doctor Tofu said. "I'm surprised you remember that, Ranma. I don't really know why she wants to borrow it again, but she wanted books on specialized cooking techniques, and this is the only one I have..."
Nabiki glanced at Ranma, her eyes narrowing. What was Ranma up to now? It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to keep track of everything going on in the dojo. Above all, Nabiki feared lack of knowledge, for knowledge equaled control, and control was the key to being successful. She was going to have to find out what this was about, soon.
How to do that? Well, if all else failed, she could probably just ask, but that was hardly any fun...
She turned her attention back to the conversation in the next room. Akane was describing what had happened to Ranma and Kasumi -- without actually mentioning who it had happened to, Nabiki noted. Her youngest sister wasn't entirely stupid.
"Hmm," Doctor Tofu said, "I've done a little research since yesterday. What you're describing sounds like the legendary "Monkey Head-Bashing" technique."
"What?" Akane said. "You mean there really is a stupid technique like that?"
There were the sounds of movement. Nabiki could imagine Doctor Tofu walking to his bookshelves and running a hand along the spines of the books. "I read about it somewhere, a long time ago. I hadn't gotten that far in my research yet, but it must have been... no... ah, here it is. Yes, this is the book."
"You really mean that, Sensei? You can duplicate the technique?"
"Yes. This book describes the process exactly. Now, what page was that on?"
Nabiki took her hand off of Ranma's shoulder. "You hear that?" she said, "Doctor Tofu's got a cure! That sounds like your cue, Ranma-kun."
Ranma needed no encouragement. She flung the door open. "Tofu-Sensei? Is this true? Can you really cure us?"
The Doctor looked up, book in hand. His glasses instantly fogged over. "Ka... Ka... Kasumi! What an amazing coincidence that we should meet here, of all places!"
Ranma stepped back. "Whoops," she muttered. "I forgot..."
There was a shredding sound as the book in Dr. Tofu's hands was ripped and torn to pieces.
"AAAAAAAIGH!" Ranma screamed.
Nabiki held her hand up.
"Wait, Ranma, don't go in there," she said, as if reciting a script. "Oops, too late. Oh well, what's a girl to do? I tried to stop her..."
***
Ranma and the entire Tendo clan were gathered in the family room at home. There was a lot to talk about. During the story of Mousse's attempted attack, and subsequent challenge, Soun nearly lost it. Then came the story of the incident at Doctor Tofu's clinic...
"It's my fault," Nabiki said generously. "When I realized what was going on, I tried to stop her, but..."
"Don't blame yourself, Nabiki," Soun said. "This whole situation has all of us confused."
"But," Akane said, "Tofu-Sensei said the "Monkey Head-Bashing" technique actually exists! That means there's a way to figure this out yet!"
Soun nodded his head. "The Master said as much earlier today. He knew the secret, once, but he's spent the rest of his life forgetting it. He said something like, 'a technique like that is dangerous' and 'you think I want to get stuck in someone else's body? Think again!'"
"Well, that's true enough," Akane replied. "I know I'm not eager to switch bodies with anyone."
"Why not?" Ranma countered. "Switching into my body would certainly improve your looks."
"RANMA!" Akane yelled, jumping to her feet. Soun leapt to her side, grabbing her arms.
"No! Remember, no one is to hit Kasumi's body!"
Akane sighed, and nodded. "That hardly seems fair, though," she said, sitting down.
"Now," Soun said, "as for this fight you accidentally arranged, if a cure cannot be found before Saturday, then Kasumi will have to forfeit."
"Forfeit!" Ranma yelled, leaping to his feet. "But that would mean Mousse would win!"
"I understand that," Soun replied, "but Kasumi..."
"No," Ranma said. "First of all, Mousse is a martial artist. He's honorable; he won't just accept a forfeit."
"I don't know about that, Ranma," Akane said. "Mousse has always seemed willing to do anything to reach his goal. If it means getting Shampoo, I don't think there's anything too low for him to stoop to."
"Don't worry, Kasumi," Ranma said, completely ignoring Akane's words. "I'll help you train for this."
"Ranma!" Akane yelled. "We don't want Kasumi fighting at all!"
"Well," Ranma said, "it won't hurt to train. I want her to keep my body in good shape after all."
"Actually," Kasumi said, "a little training would be kind of fun. I did some of your katas this morning, and it felt good. And Ranma's right, I should keep her body in shape for as long as I'm in it."
Soun nodded. "That sounds good," he said. "You know, I was always a little disappointed that you and Nabiki stopped practicing. Training with Ranma will help in your attempt to act and sound like him. In the meantime, Saotome and I will try to find out more about how to switch you and Ranma back. If it can't be done by Saturday, you can still forfeit the match."
"She's not going to forfeit the match!" Ranma said forcefully. "We're going to find out how to switch back before that!"
"Ranma!" Akane yelled. "You aren't concerned about Kasumi at all! All you're concerned about is your precious reputation, and your so-called engagement with that Chinese bimbo!"
"I didn't say that!"
"Ranma-kun, is this true?" Soun said darkly.
"Hey! Shampoo's got nothing to do with this!" Ranma sat back down. "Just get me back in my own body, okay? Let me take on Mousse. I can handle him."
Akane glared at Ranma in anger, then her face suddenly brightened. She looked past Ranma, to the side of the room which opened onto the koi pond. "Oh, look!" she exclaimed, "It's P-Chan!"
Squealing in delight, the tiny black pig with the black and yellow bandanna made a careful detour around Ranma and then ran to Akane's outstretched arms.
"Great," Ranma said. "Just what we need."
"Ranma, be nice!"
"Hey P-Chan," Ranma said. "Where have you been wandering lately? You get lost in Australia again?"
"Australia?" Akane said. "What are you talking about? How could he get to Australia? He's just a pig, Ranma! It's not like he's Ryoga or anything!"
"If you say so," Ranma replied, pointedly looking away.
Akane hugged the pig to her chest. "Oh, P-Chan, I've missed you so! Have you been a good boy? We'll find something for you to eat right away!"
The pig was watching Ranma and Kasumi very intently. *Well, what do you know?* Ranma thought, *I do believe pig-boy has figured it out, after all...*
"When do you want to train?" Kasumi asked Ranma. "Dinner isn't for a couple of hours yet."
Ranma shrugged. "We can start anytime," he said.
"Don't forget, Ranma-kun," Nabiki said, "I promised to take you shopping."
"Oh, yeah," Ranma said. "Well, okay, as long as it doesn't take too long..."
"Ranma! You just said you'd help Kasumi train!"
"That's okay, Akane," Kasumi said. "I'm sure you and father can help. It's not as if Ranma's the only martial artist in the dojo, you know, and I do have a lot to learn."
***
Nabiki and Ranma rode the subway into downtown Tokyo. That, in itself, was an amazing thing, since it had never happened before. But then, Ranma had never been trapped in Kasumi's body before, which allowed for all sorts of interesting things to happen.
Or so thought Nabiki Tendo. Her wallet was fat with Kuno's money, she looked forward to an even bigger payday Saturday, and she was in an unusually upbeat mood. Anything was possible on a night like tonight, and whatever it might be, she'd have it on film.
Nabiki had dressed sharply for the trip into town. Ranma, on the other hand, was wearing one of Kasumi's around-the-house dresses, minus the apron. Nabiki shook her head. The boy was hopeless.
"Thanks for doing this, Nabiki," Ranma said. She played with the hem of her dress nervously, her eyes darting about the train, as if someone might appear at any moment, point at her, and yell, 'It's Ranma in a dress! Everybody, look!"
Nabiki smiled. Ranma was such an insecure girl/boy, and so much fun to tease.
"Hey, no problem at all, Ranma-kun. Anything for my favorite would-be brother/sister-in-law. I know this whole situation must be hard on you."
"To tell you the truth, Nabiki, I'm a little bit surprised that you would do this for me. Especially without charging me for it.'
Nabiki feigned shock. "Ranma, what do you take me for? I'm hardly as mercenary as people seem to think. Sometimes I do things just because I want to. It makes me feel good to be able to help you out, and it should be fun as well."
*And I made a killing with pictures of your body today,* she thought to herself. *You still don't know that you dated and even kissed Kuno only last night.*
For a moment, Nabiki contemplated what might happen when Ranma did find out. That was reason enough to be nice to Ranma, to put Ranma a little in her debt. Nabiki would be better able to defend herself when the time came. In any case, she'd vowed to give Ranma one percent of the day's profits, so it was hardly like she was spending her own money.
Their stop rang out as the train came to another halt. They got off and headed up to street level.
"Anyway, Nabiki, I really appreciate this..."
"Nabiki! Kasumi!"
Two sharply-dressed young women stood on the street corner, waving. Ranma groaned as he recognized the two as Nabiki's school friends, Midori and Kyoko.
"What are you two doing here in downtown Tokyo?" Midori said. "Shopping?"
Nabiki nodded. "Just a short trip to pick up some new clothes for my sister."
"Really? Mind if we tag along?"
"Um..." Ranma began. This was exactly what she'd feared would happen if she tried to go out in public as Kasumi.
"No problem!" Nabiki said. "Sis, you know my two friends, Kyoko and Midori? Of course you do!"
"S-Sure..." Ranma said, a sweatdrop appearing at the side of her head.
Kyoko was eyeing her critically. "My, Kasumi, new clothes? I guess I can see why. Is that the best dress you have? You should dress up more for a trip downtown, don't you think?"
"Um..."
"Well," Nabiki said, "Oneechan has dresses, but none that she felt like wearing..."
"Oh, that's too bad!" Midori said. "Lots of clothing, but nothing to wear? I know how you feel! A new dress will help, definitely. We'll help you find one that's just right!"
"Actually, I..."
"That wasn't what we had planned," Nabiki said, "but you're right, Kasumi really deserves something nicer to wear. What the heck, Sis, go for it."
"I really don't think we can afford to..."
"Don't worry, Sis! It's my treat, remember? You just relax, smile and look pretty, and let Midori, Kyoko and I take care of everything."
Nabiki smiled to herself. Yes, it was true: not everything she did was for profit. Some things she did simply for the entertainment value, and the evening promised to be entertaining indeed.
***
"We should train as if you're really going to fight Mousse," Akane said. She stood, opposite Kasumi, dressed in her yellow gi. Kasumi, wearing Ranma's red Chinese top and black pants, watched her younger sister uncertainly.
"Fight Mousse?" she said. "I don't know, Akane... fighting is just so... so violent!"
"Oneechan, I know you're not really going to fight him," Akane said, "but it's good to have a goal in mind while training. Anyway, training will benefit Ranma's body. Once you switch back with Ranma, he's going to have to face Mousse, so we want his body to be ready for that. Okay?"
Kasumi nodded uncertainly.
"Okay, then! Prepare yourself!"
Akane advanced and threw several quick, light punches, which Kasumi dodged easily. Akane frowned. "Not bad, Sis," she said, and redoubled her efforts, throwing punches that actually had some speed and strength behind them. Again Kasumi dodged them, just as Ranma might have.
Akane paused, watching her sister. "Sis, how are you doing that? You've never learned to dodge like that!"
"I don't know, Akane," Kasumi said. "I'm just doing what seems the most natural. It just comes to me, almost before I see your attack."
"Those are Ranma's reflexes," Akane said. "Hmmm, I wonder how much of Ranma's skill you really have access to?"
"I have no idea, but when I practiced this morning, I found myself doing some of Ranma's own kata. I've never studied more than the simple ones that Father taught me."
"Okay," Akane said, "I'm going to try and hit you for real. We'll see how good you really are. Ready?"
Kasumi nodded.
The punches and kicks came fast and furious. Akane had been sparring with Ranma for a while now, and had been improving steadily. She was still a fighter with more brute strength than finesse, and she would never be as fast as Ranma, but she was becoming very, very good, maybe even good enough to surprise Ukyo, or Kodachi, or perhaps even Shampoo.
She liked to think so, at least.
Amazingly, Kasumi was able to dodge or block almost every blow. Akane landed a couple of punches, and then a solid kick slipped through her sister's defenses and Kasumi went flying.
"Oneechan! Are you okay?"
Kasumi winced as she sat up, rubbing her side. Then she gave a sudden and very warm smile. "Wow, Akane, that was fun! I almost felt like I knew what I was doing, like a real martial artist!"
"Kasumi," Akane said, "Ranma would have blocked everything. On the other hand, you're already fighting as if you've studied for several years. I don't know quite how you do it, but I'm really impressed."
"As am I," a powerful voice said. "But that's not good enough, if you're going to face Mousse."
Akane glanced at the entrance to the dojo. "Ryoga!" She exclaimed.
The itinerant martial artist inclined his head. "Good evening, Akane, Miss Kasumi. If you and Akane don't mind, I think I could be of some help."
Akane's eyes boggled. "You know?"
"Never mind how I know," Ryoga said. "If Kasumi is going to fight Mousse, then she's going to need my help. Mousse is an exceptional opponent, and while Kasumi may have Ranma's strength and speed, she has none of his knowledge or experience."
"She's not actually going to fight him, you know," Akane said.
"Perhaps," Ryoga admitted, "but as long as she's in that body, she's in danger of being drawn into a fight. It's best to be prepared."
He stepped into the dojo, walking easily, and took a position opposite Kasumi. "Would you allow me to train you, Tendo Kasumi?" he asked.
***
"You can't seriously expect me to wear that," Ranma said. "Not even for a moment."
Ranma was in a changing booth in an upscale department store, wearing nothing but socks and underwear. Outside the booth stood Nabiki Tendo, holding up a strapless evening dress of silk and crushed velvet.
"Why not?" Nabiki replied. "Isn't it beautiful?"
"I'm not going to buy it, that's why!"
"Tsk, tsk. Isn't it fun to try on something luxurious that you know you can't afford? Please, Kasumi Oneechan, just let us see you in it for a few moments."
Nabiki glanced over her shoulder, where her two friends stood waiting. Ranma ground her teeth slowly. "Is this something Kasumi would do?" he whispered, knowing the answer.
"You got it, Sis."
"I gotta do it because Kasumi would do it, then?"
"My, what a sharp mind you have!"
Ranma glared at Nabiki, saying nothing.
Two or three dozen outfits later (at least, it seemed like that many), Ranma was ready to give up on the promised pants, if only she could get out of this impromptu fashion show. She stepped back into the booth and got undressed yet again, but when she looked around for the dress she'd worn into the store, it was nowhere to be seen.
She peeked through the curtain. Nabiki and the budding fashion critics were busy selecting yet another ensemble for her to try on.
"Hey!" Ranma called out. "What did you do with my clothes? I'm tired of playing fashion model."
"Your clothes?" Midori feigned innocence.
"Come, Kasumi," Kyoko said. "How do you expect to attract any attention in that frumpy old thing? No wonder you don't have a husband yet!"
"Husband! I'm not trying to attract..."
"Kasumi Oneechan," Nabiki said, "the girls have a point. I really can't let my own sister walk around town like that, can I?"
"Like what?"
"Come on, Kasumi, we're out on the town. You need to wear something a little more interesting than what you wear around the house."
"Look, Kasumi," Nabiki said, "I don't want to hold my own sister hostage, but you're not getting your own clothes back until we get home. Either you walk out of here with only what you have on now, or you pick out something more appropriate for downtown shopping. Something dressy, but not too frilly, mind you. Okay?"
***
Ryoga sat on the floor of the dojo, rubbing his chin. Kasumi and Akane hovered over him protectively.
"I'm so sorry, Ryoga!" Kasumi said. "I don't even know how or why I did that! Are you okay?"
Ryoga laughed.
"That's the same punch Ranma always used to nail me with," he said. "I should have blocked it, but I didn't really expect it to come from you. My fault, of course." He got back up and shook himself. "I'm fine, Kasumi," he said. "It takes a great deal more than one lucky punch to keep me down. But I see what Akane was saying about you having Ranma's reflexes. With enough training, you might become nearly as good as Ranma was. I'd be willing to bet that, in time, you could make Ranma's instincts your own; all you'd really lack is the head-knowledge."
"Do you really think so?" Kasumi asked, wonderingly. She stared at her hands for a moment, forming two fists with them. "I wonder..."
"Unfortunately," Ryoga said, "we've only got two days. Since it's best to assume that you might have to fight Mousse, let's concentrate on what you need to be able to do to defeat him, or at least, to hold your own."
"Oh... okay."
"For starters," Ryoga said, "I... ah, Miss Kasumi, I... well, I mean, you won't be able to defeat Mousse at all as a woman."
"Oh. Oh, I... see."
"Sis, it's true," Akane said. "Even Ranma couldn't do it. His first encounter with Mousse was during the time he had the full-bodied cat-tongue pressure point applied by Cologne. If it weren't for Tofu-Sensei, who applied a temporary counter-pressure point, Ranma would have lost!"
"I see," Kasumi said. "I remember, now that you mention it. Well, I guess that can't be helped, then. But do I have to train as a man? I'm not sure if I'm ready for that, yet, and I... I mean, I'm not really going to fight Mousse, am I?"
"That remains to be seen," Ryoga said. "It's probably best if you didn't, to be honest; he'd probably take you apart. But all we're concerned with at the moment is training, and at some point you'll need to train in Ranma's male body, just so you get a feeling for the differences in strength and balance. But for what I need to show you now, I think you'll be just fine as is."
***
Nabiki stared at the bags swinging from Ranma's hands, wondering about the book.
She'd spent rather more than she'd intended, but Ranma had actually been a pretty good sport back in the department store, so Nabiki had felt guilty and splurged a little. Along with the lovely lavender dress that Ranma was currently wearing, Nabiki had paid for a second dress, two pairs of nice, feminine pants, three tops, and a pair of loose, wide-legged shorts. Add in a stop at an ice cream parlor (which had cheered Ranma up considerably) and the book, and Nabiki could literally feel the yen slipping through her fingers. And she'd felt so rich only two hours ago. Well, Ranma was going to be in her debt big-time now, and that was always a useful thing.
The book. Ranma had insisted on picking it up, and Nabiki, still feeling a bit guilty, had agreed to pay for it. It was a cookbook, and not a simple one either, but one with some rather elaborate recipes. Nabiki frowned. Ranma was still operating under the mistaken impression that Midori and Kyoko didn't know who she really was, but buying a cookbook was taking the Kasumi act just a little bit too far. She'd borrowed that odd cookbook from Doctor Tofu as well. Once again, Nabiki sensed that she was in the dark about something big, and vowed to uncover this latest secret.
"Hey, look!" Midori said. "It's that new upscale bath house! Ooh, do you think we have time to go in?"
A smile began to spread across Nabiki's face.
"I don't see why not," she replied. "Nodoka and Akane are making dinner tonight, so we're not in any real hurry."
"I don't think..." Ranma began.
"Oh, come on, Kasumi," Kyoko said. "When's the last time you were in a public bath? At least, when that dirty old man wasn't there too?"
"Please, Kasumi," Midori chimed in. "It'll be fun! It's supposed to be really spectacular inside too!"
"But I don't really want to..."
"Come on, Kasumi Oneechan, it's only for a short time," Nabiki said.
Nabiki could see the look of desperation in Ranma's eyes, but after having paid for all those clothes, two parfaits, and a rather expensive cookbook, she was feeling less generous. She'd brought Ranma downtown to have some fun, and the small amount of teasing she and her friends had had in the department store was really not enough. True, the money was coming from the sale of pictures of Ranma, but Nabiki felt she was owed a bit more entertainment for her yen.
Not that this would be half the entertainment of a Ranma-Happosai bath-fu rumble, mind you, but you just didn't get that kind of entertainment every day, even at the Tendo-ke.
*Besides,* she thought, *this took too much work to set up.* She'd had to convince her two friends that A) Ranma currently really was 100% female, B) Ranma had been female so often that she hardly reacted to the sight of naked female flesh in the manner of a typical teenage boy, and C) Ranma would be more embarrassed than any of them, far too embarrassed, really, to notice them at all.
"Please, Kasumi Oneechan," Nabiki said. "Don't ruin the evening for the rest of us. I've done several favors for you already today; the least you could do is go along on this one little request. Besides, it's nothing you haven't done before, you know."
Before Ranma could think of a good response to that one, The three girls had steered her inside.
***
Kasumi entered the bathroom, sweat dripping from her brow. What a workout that had been! Her entire body was drained of energy, sore, and bruised, but despite all of that she felt pretty good.
*How strange! Is this what Akane and Ranma feel like every night?*
She'd sparred with Akane, and then with Ryoga. It was clear that Ryoga, especially, had pulled his punches. Still, Kasumi had managed to do pretty well, in her own estimation. The correct dodges and blocks came to her naturally, without even thinking, as they probably did for Ranma-kun himself.
Despite her tired limbs, Kasumi felt a power and a confidence unlike anything she'd experienced before. She felt good. She felt wonderful, in fact.
Kasumi would never have admitted it to anyone, but sometimes she watched Akane, or especially, Ranma, and wished that she could do some of the things they did. To be a martial artist... she'd quit training years ago, while she still young. Even then it had been obvious that Akane was the best martial artist of the three Tendo girls, and would be the one to carry on the Tendo legacy, while Kasumi had already taken to following her mother everywhere and attempting to do everything her mother did. Training became boring, a chore that Father forced her to do, and she worried about being too violent; it wasn't in her nature to be that way. Then she had became, at still a young age, not only a full-time student but also the woman of the household, the substitute mother. School, homework, cooking and cleaning left her no time to train.
She enjoyed keeping the house running, keeping it tidy, taking care of everyone, cooking for them, making them happy. But a small part of her, very small, regretted not continuing in the art.
Now, through some weird fluke of magic or esoteric martial arts, she was the martial artist a part of her had wished to become. She was no real match for Akane, let alone Ryoga or Mousse, but they were all quite exceptional, and already Kasumi was nearly at their level. She was a far better martial artist than anyone with her meager training had a right to be.
How much better could she become? Good enough to hold her own, at least defensively, in a fight? Not that she wanted to fight, but Ryoga's words echoed in her mind -- in this body, she couldn't avoid fighting forever.
A very small part of her wanted to know -- could she actually take on Mousse? Her newfound strength and speed bred a sort of confidence, even an arrogance. She understood Ranma better now, the way he acted.
She stripped out of her clothes and paused to look at herself in the wall mirror. This was Ranma's body -- Ranma's girl body, at any rate. It was shorter, and three years younger, but far more powerful than her own.
*What if I'm stuck this way forever?* she thought, perhaps for the first time. Her confidence in Ranma's ability to solve any problem was beginning to waver. What if?
Perhaps the most horrifying thing about the thought was that it wasn't actually horrifying at all. Granted, she would be much, much more comfortable with this body if it were always female, but there were ways to do that, as Ranma had discovered not too long ago. If worse came to worse, and she were stuck in this body, it would not really be so bad. This was a good body. She could get used to it.
But poor Ranma! Not only would he be losing his manhood, his fiancee, and three years from his life, but he would be losing the one thing that had always been there for him: his art. That would devastate him, Kasumi was certain of that.
She heard a noise outside, and then the door slid aside, revealing a naked Ryoga, clutching a towel and basket of toiletries.
Ryoga froze. "Ranma?" His face went beet-red.
"Ryoga!" Kasumi exclaimed, covering herself. "You should knock first!"
Ryoga's face turned twice as red as he realized who it really was standing before him. He turned and fled, slamming the door shut behind him and leaving drops of blood on the tiles. "I'm sorry!" he yelled over his shoulder. "I'm sorry! I forgot! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Kasumi sat down on the stool and sighed. What had she just been thinking? Ranma-kun's life was far too complicated for anyone else to live it. She certainly didn't want to be the one to try. She wanted her own body back, and as soon as possible...
***
Ranma was glad to be walking down familiar streets, drawing closer to the Tendo Dojo. The evening was nearly over, and she would be able to drop the Kasumi act and get out of this stupid dress. She hadn't really anticipated being "in character" for the entire evening, but fate had determined otherwise. It couldn't be helped, but at least she'd pulled it off without arousing suspicions.
She was rather proud of that fact. The short fashion show and, especially, the public bath had been embarrassing, but they were things that Kasumi would not have thought twice about. In the company of Nabiki's friends, who only saw and heard Kasumi, she had to do everything the way Kasumi would do it. Of course, she'd tried o talk her way out of the bath house, using every conceivable excuse that might be applicable for Kasumi, but it had been useless. Nabiki was as skilled at word interplay and argument as Ranma was at throwing punches. Still, she'd survived, with most of her dignity intact, and she had new clothes and a new cookbook to show for it, not to mention their stop at the ice cream parlor.
"Well," Midori said as the reached the gates of the Tendo-ke, "it's been a really fun night!
"Good night, Midori, Kyoko," Nabiki said. Ranma echoed the sentiments in her best shiny-happy Kasumi voice.
"Good night, Nabiki," Kyoko said. "See you at school tomorrow! Good night, Ranma!"
"Yes," Midori said, as the two ran off. "Good night, Ranma! We had fun!"
Ranma was through the gate and almost to the front door of the house before their words fully registered. Good night... Ranma?"
She stopped. She turned to glare at Nabiki.
"Those two... they both knew!"
"Well of course they did," Nabiki said matter-of-factly. "I told them at school today. Oh," she put a hand to her mouth in mock surprise, "did I forget to mention that little fact, Ranma? I'm sorry! How forgetful of me!"
Nabiki's eyes went wide as she saw her older sister begin to glow with a bright blue battle aura. She ducked inside and slammed the door shut, and was halfway up the stairs before she heard Ranma yelling.
"NABIKI!!!!!"
***
End Part Four
Sorry for the stupid title.
Remember, if the world hands you lemons, fight back! Write something different!
Thanks to everyone who's written to me. Hi to KaraOhki, Joseph Palmer, Ukyo Kunoji... the beginings of this story came after I read her "Floating Soul", although I could have just as easily borrowed from Kimagure Orange Road, or Gilligan's Island, or...?
Enjoy! And if you don't, write me anyway!
M.A. Davis aka "Miko"
[email protected]
http://listen.to/bell/
Monkey Head Butting Part Five
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