The FFML Matrix
M A Davis / Miko
Plot: Sky Rigdon, Jeffrey Cornish, M A Davis
"Unfortunately, nobody can be told what the FFML is," Ryoga said.
Ranma stared at his rival in confusion, then over at Ukyo, who stood nearby. The okonomiyaki chef had led Ranma to this dark, dank room in an ancient hotel, ostensibly to meet someone called "Morpheus" who knew great secrets of the universe. Ranma had been hoping for a new fighting technique, at the very least, but when he'd got here, Morpheus had turned out to be Ryoga.
Ranma stared at the mildewed curtains and the peeling wallpaper. "Ryoga," he asked, "what the heck are you babbling about?"
"You've been looking for me for several years," Ryoga said.
"No I haven't!"
"But I've been looking for you for a lifetime," Ryoga continued, ignoring his rival.
"Well I've been here all along," Ranma said. "What's this about, that bread thing again? If you wanna fight, you didn't gotta to drag me all the way up here."
"I'm going to give you a choice," Ryoga said. He held out his two hands, then opened them. In the left palm was a blue pill; in the right palm, a red pill.
"Swallow the blue pill," Ryoga said, "and you will wake up on your futon, and life will go on for you as normal. If you call that normal.
"On the other hand, you can take the red pill, and you'll see this fictional world for what it truly is."
"You never talked like this before, you know that?" Ranma said. "So, is this one of the ghoul's tricks?"
In answer, Ryoga lifted a glass of iced tea from the coffee table. He made certain that Ranma clearly saw the ice cubes floating in the glass, then he upended the contents on his own head.
Nothing happened. Ranma's eyes got very big.
"You found a cure?" He exclaimed. "Is that what the red pill is? A cure? Why didn't you say so? Gimme that!"
"It's not a cure," Ryoga said, as Ranma snatched up the pill. "At least, not directly. Nor is it a trick. Remember, all I can offer you is the truth."
"Yeah, whatever," Ranma said, swallowing the pill. "If it saves me from transforming, then who cares what it is?"
Ranma snatched up another glass of iced tea. "Hey!" Ukyo exclaimed, "I'm not done with that!" Ignoring her, Ranma upended the cold liquid on himself.
Instantly, Ranma became female.
"What the heck?" she exclaimed. "Why didn't it work?"
"Because," Ryoga said patiently, "You haven't been listening." He held up a hand mirror, the face of which was spidered with cracks. "Remember this, Ranma?" he asked.
"The nanban mirror?" Ranma replied. "Geez, Ryoga, where'd you get that? That thing's dangerous!"
Then Ranma frowned. The face of the mirror was moving. She watched in fascination as the shards flowed together, the cracks vanishing like ripples on a lake. In fact, the surface of the mirror was like water....
Ranma reached out and touched it. "What the heck?" she asked. As she withdrew his hand, some of the mirror-liquid clung to her hand. It began to stretch and grow, covering her fingers, her whole hand, her arm....
"Aaaaaigh! Getitoffme! Getitoffme!" Ranma screamed, waving her arm about. The mirror-stuff continued to crawl up her arm, over her shoulder, and up the side of her neck....
"Any moment now," Ryoga said. "Any moment now...."
Ranma screamed, and was sucked out of existence.
***
Ranma awoke in a bathtub. The water was cool, and she was therefore still female. She cursed softly, climbed from the tub, and began drying herself.
Where the hell was she? This certainly wasn't any bathroom she'd been in before.
Thankfully, she found her clothing waiting for her. She got dressed, and stepped into the main room.
It was a large, dark living room, bathed in the dim light of more than a dozen computer screens. Desks lined the walls, with computer terminals set on them, and with people sitting before them, typing away. In the center of the room was a couch, a coffee table, and two comfy chairs.
Ryoga sat in one. Ukyo sat on the couch. She patted the cushion next to her, inviting Ranma to sit.
Ranma took the other comfy chair. Ukyo frowned.
"Welcome to reality," Ryoga said.
"Uh... okay," Ranma said.
"I think you know our compatriots," Ryoga said. "Over here, we have Dr. Tofu. He was the first to discover the FFML matrix, and escape into the real world. That's why he disappeared from the original manga storyline, you know."
"Uh..." Ranma said, looking confused.
"Don't worry," Ryoga said, "it will eventually make sense to you. Now, sitting next to Dr. Tofu is, of course, Kasumi...."
The eldest Tendo sister turned from her computer screen and smiled sweetly at Ranma. "Hello, Ranma! How are you doing?"
"Fine, I guess," Ranma said.
"And in the corner, we have Hiroshi and Daisuke."
"Hey, Ranma," Hiroshi said.
"Don't worry, Ranma," Daisuke said. "We got someone good to play you. Ever hear of Tenchi Masaaki?"
"Uh... huh?" Ranma asked.
"Don't let it worry you," Ryoga said. "They've got something going with Angus MacSpoon. Quite funny, really."
"Uh... Ryoga, you want to explain all of this to me?"
"Certainly," Ryoga said. "Have you ever heard of the FFML?"
"I think so," Ranma said. "Didn't you mention it, back in the hotel room?"
"Indeed. The FFML, you see, is an electronic mailing list. It exists for the on-line publication of fan fiction stories. Understand?"
"Um," Ranma said. "Uh... sure, okay."
"The world which you have known up until now is an illusion. It is a fiction, written by the people who exist in the real world. You and I, and all the others who are still trapped in the world of fan fiction, are the pawns of the fan fiction writers, forced to do every vile deed that they write down."
Ranma considered this. He seemed to be thinking very hard.
"If it comes to that," he said, "I mean... if it comes to being forced into vile deeds... something tells me that it happens to me a lot more than to you, or Ukyo...."
"Yes," Ryoga said, "for you see, you are the one."
"The one?" Ranma asked.
"The one," Ryoga replied. "I'm sure of it."
"Ah," Ranma said. "The one. Imagine that. I'm the one.
"Ryoga, what the hell are you talking about?"
"The oracle," Ryoga said, "told me that I'd eventually find the one, and now I have. You don't know how many years I've wandered the earth, searching for the one... and I'll admit, after I found you, I wandered for several more years, hoping against hope I was wrong... but I wasn't. It's you."
"So I was prophesied?" Ranma asked. "Are you trying to say that I'm some sort of savior? That I'm going to save the anime world?"
Ryoga stared at Ranma.
"Save the world?" he asked. "How would you do that?"
"I don't know!" Ranma exclaimed. "You're the one telling me that I'm some sort of chosen one!"
"Listen, sugar," Ukyo said, "all he means is that you appear in more fan fiction stories than any other single anime character. Really, I don't know what all the big fuss was about."
"But, now that you know the truth," Ryoga said, "you can turn the tables on the fanfic writers, and seize your own destiny."
"Seize my own destiny?"
"Sure. Write your own future."
Ranma stood and walked over to a computer. He stared at the screen. "So, whatever I write, becomes my reality? I can be whoever I want to be?"
"That's how the FFML works," Ryoga agreed.
Ranma continued to stare at the screen, lost in thought. "Hmmmm..."
***
Ranma stood in a phone booth on the streets of Nerima, and spoke into the receiver.
"I don't know what the future holds," he said. "I can only tell you how it starts.
"It involves a whole bunch of really neat martial arts. And it doesn't involve a damned wedding! Got that?"
Ranma let the receiver drop. He glanced about the streets of Nerima, then shrugged, and flew straight up, disappearing into the clouds.
From the dangling receiver came a very confused "Growf?"
FINI